Co-Parenting Tips for Non-Married Parents:

It is a child's right to have the best relationship possible with both biological parents. Children need to feel loved by both parents and need to know that they do not have to choose one parent over the other. When parents are out of conflict, children can prosper. Parents will have to work together for the rest of their lives - not just until their child turns 18. Having co-parenting skills benefits everyone. It is possible to have a functional divorced family.

• Keep a flexible routine and leave room for spontaneity. Help your children feel that they are fortunate to have two homes, mom's and dad's. Live as close to each other as possible.
• Help prepare your child for visits. Be positive about the experience.
• Share information. Have a calendar with all the family engagements written on it and let the other parent know of any changed plans.
• Set up a system for monthly phone calls or meetings with a specific list of required issues to discuss.
• Never talk badly about the other parent in front of your children.
• Talk to each other and keep focused on the subject of your children. Children should not serve as the direct line of communication between parents.
• Take the anger out of your communications. Do not use your child as a way to get back at each other or validate your anger with each other. Learn to communicate in a less reactive, more proactive way.
• If you have ongoing difficulties dealing appropriately with the other parent, seek counseling to learn ways to effectively co-parent your child.

For more information on co-parenting skills and resources:

• Colorado Council of Mediators - 1(800) 864-4317, www.coloradomediation.org
• Colorado Office of Dispute Resolution - (303) 837-3672
• Co-Parenting After Divorce. D. Schulman. (1997)
• Live-Away Dads: Staying a Part of Your Children's Lives When They Aren't a Part of Your Home. W. C. Klatte. (1999)
• Mom's House, Dad's House. I. Ricci. (1982)
• 101 Ways to Be a Long Distance Super Dad - or Mom, Too! G. Newman. (1999)